What to do when life happens through your windows?

If until a few months ago there were those who rejected a videoconference meeting and others who postponed calling that distant friend because “live meetings are better”, now we see that the alternatives are not many when the doors of those who are able to stay at home must be locked down. Whether in video meetings, online shopping or happy hours on the internet, this new way of living the world – which is far from being normal – limits us to try to get the best out of the small windows that surround us and present themselves as an option to keep us safe.

In this text, I will reflect on my experiences in these five months of social isolation to point out alternatives for living better when our relationship with the world is limited to the windows that surround us – whether glass or digital ones.

Staying at the window is not for everyone, but it should be

Before any conversation about the consequences of #StayHome and its difficulties and challenges, I believe it is very important to remember that this is not the reality for most people in Brazil. For every person like me, who can work 100% remotely over the internet and keep my livelihood safe, there are thousands who cannot survive without risking their lives at their jobs.

Whether you are a well-known nursing professional – who may be my aunt -, the driver of the bus you used to take every day or the delivery man for your home office lunch, these people need to be remembered and supported. Being able to stay at home shouldn’t be, but it is a privilege that concerns our socioeconomic, work, and digital inclusion conditions – a factor that is also essential and extremely unequal.

Digital inclusion is an issue that goes beyond the fact that I can have a stable connection to the internet, a computer with a good processor to design and my ability with the programs and tools to carry out my tasks. Talk about digital inclusion, even more so now, is talking about social inclusion – and society goes far beyond myself or my social circle. How are people who perform activities that could be done at home, but do not have the infrastructure (such as internet or computer) or digital tools skills?

If in Brazil only internet access already happens in an unequal proportion (about 46 million Brazilians were disconnected by 2018), the difference in the levels of digital literacy is also huge. If, on one hand, my paternal grandfather is unable to have a touchscreen phone due to the difficulty of pressing the buttons on the screen and understanding the operating system, my maternal grandmother watches live broadcasts of the church every Sunday, calls me on video and sends good morning stickers on WhatsApp. My two grandparents live in the same city, and they have yet totally different conditions of infrastructure and skills for a conscientious use of the Internet, which results in unequal forms of technology appropriation.

We used only one door to go out. To see the world now, we opened many windows

At the beginning of this pandemic, I was very dispersed. In the area where I work, the demands are diverse, and setting priorities amid the news of a chaotic world outside (and also inside) home was complicated. Social networks, which should help me keep in touch with who I love, became a reason for the fog of anxiety softly goes up around me over the days. Whether it was remote work or free time in which I browsed from window to window watching videos, photos and stories, being on the internet made it increasingly clear a widespread “fear of missing something” (FoMO) – which ended up affecting us all.

If our operating systems can be on standby, expecting our heads to have this function too – even without realizing it – is trying to bring your humanity up to date with a “robotic humanity” that is not possible. As much as some posts out there say that it is necessary to work while our “competitors” sleep, we are not programs with ultra processors – let alone competitors in a productivity contest. 

“Ignore the people who are posting that they are writing papers and the people who are complaining that they cannot write papers. They are on their own journey. Cut out the noise.”

– Aisha S. Ahmad, Chronicle of Higher Education.

The jargon “live one day at a time” has already become a cliché in photos of influencers on Instagram, but it is worth remembering that clichés often only become clichés because they are real. We must remember that “multitasking”, often seen as a compliment, does not match our limitations and that doing one thing at a time helps us to stay focused and head-on. We haven’t been able to solve all the world’s problems at once – and this is not going to change now. It is not for nothing that technology has enormous potential for help, but it needs to be explored in a healthier way.

The middle ground that I found in the use of digital tools and that helps me a lot is to use applications to list tasks – in addition to the good old paper. By writing down what my activities are at the beginning of the day, changing the order according to the priority, and go on scratching, one by one I felt better and didn’t freak out wanting to carry everything at once on my back. In addition, defining time for work and other activities – as well as doing absolutely nothing – has been essential. Remember to close all browser tabs and also those ones that are open on your head.

Our body is also our home

Spending more time at home, I have tried to make my environment as comfortable as possible. I organize the desk, move furniture around, and change the posters on the wall to give it an air of newness now and then. But even so, I realized that even in a house comfortable as much as possible, I was not looking after my most important home: my body.

The reflexes of these unusual times appear not only in the head but also in signs of our organism. After a few weeks feeling tired, with burning eyes and feeling unwell, I realized that habits like sunbathing regularly (about 15 minutes a day in the morning), taking care of the brightness of my computer and cell phone screens and changing the way I check how my friends are on the internet were very important for my physical and also mental health. 

Besides checking out who you love and accepting your vulnerabilities, having the courage to ask for help is very important. And in addition to the help of friends – who are also not feeling quite well – taking care of mental health with a professional is essential. During social distancing, several psychologists are conducting online care, and they have helped many people to deal better with this turmoil of events. Health professionals have also put a lot of effort into the use of social networks and created collectives for sharing content and disseminating remote consultations, such as SaudeNegraBH.

Some practices and tools have also helped me a lot with mental and physical health challenges. Meditating with an application upon waking helped me to realize how I am feeling and to deal better with anxiety. Using social media sparingly and checking how my friends are doing through direct messages or group video calls has been much healthier instead of just seeing photos in the feed and edited stories. Use the computer’s night light mode in my activities that do not involve design helped me to sleep better and not overload my vision. This last tip comes from an external – and funny – validation that screens can really be a problem: a college friend recently published that he was wearing sunglasses during remote classes. I thought it was stylish, but I still suggested the night light function.

The most important thing: looking not only outside, but also inside

The tips I mentioned throughout the text are valuable to me and arose from a lot of questioning and observation on the inside of me over the months. For you, the process can be different, so it is necessary to look not only outside the many windows that surround us but also to the side where we live: inside our house, our body and our mind.

“The validation we seek from the outside is inside us all the time”

– #TheInternetWeWant (@ contente.vc)

As romanticized as it may seem, we need to remember – with the awareness of our privileges – that self-knowledge is fundamental to live better, especially when we confirm that life is not “virtual” online – but that with the internet our online experiences are always as real as the offline ones.

As the last suggestion, I advise you to always listen and question yourself. While you live among your many windows, what has worked, and what has gone wrong unnoticed? Can you really work listening to music, or does it end up overwhelming you without you noticing? When you are on social media, how does it feel to leave your cell phone aside?

The answers are all within you, and there is no harm in asking for help to find them: be it with the one you love, with technology, and with a professional.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors.
Illustration by Freepik Stories